Be Your Own Coach

Imagine that for every tricky situation that you had to face you had access to a specialist who could give you the best possible advice and bolster your fragile emotions so that you could take on any challenge with ease and composure! Sounds like a fine idea and a very useful way to go through life; accessing expertise and building your self esteem. Well what if I said you can have all of this and it doesn't need to cost you a small fortune. Of course you could go for the magic wand or quick fix approaches but these don't tend to last very long. What I want to give you is the ability to sustain over a lifetime the ability to achieve all of your goals without hurting anyone else in the process, become a fulfiled and happier person.
How? Well we need to start with some basics - have a life goal or two (personaliy I have three, one for fun, that's to have my Crime Novel published and two serious - but still fun!)
Rule 1: Knowing what you want is the first step to getting it.
Next have a plan. Take steps to achieve your goals no matter how small.
Rule 2: Do something every day that takes you closer to achieving your goal.
Create the environment for success by telling people about your goals, let your ideas float freely into the atmosphere - it's amazing what comes back to you.
Rule 3: Promote yourself and your ideas to everyone possible.
Take yourself seriously. Imagine you have achieved success - what does it feel like, how do you like it? Make up a mantra and repeat it often - here's mine "I am my own alchemical magician."
Rule 4: Believe in yourself, and give your self permission to succeed.
Be honest with youself and everyone around you. If you need help, ask, if you need to learn, do so.
Rule 6: Be happy with who you are and smart enough to know when to get support
I hope you like my 'rules'. These are the basics for a successful and happy way of living and creating your own internal coach. Practice these rules and the negative voices inside your head and your heart will soon deminish.

Moving from wanting to doing

How often have you chatted with a friend or colleague about wanting to do something different or new. How often has that conversation led to a feeling of frustration and even hopelessness. It's human nature to want and anyone who has looked at human behaviour knows about Mazlow's hierarchy of needs and the diference between need and want. Moving forward in life is often fraught with difficulties to overcome and blockages to shift before wants or needs can be satisfied. But how do we move from wanting something to doing it - really putting into action those things that you really want to achieve. The first step is being crystal clear about what you actually want. Knowing and understanding what you want will make it easier to get there. I often describe this as 'getting on the bus' - you wouldn't nornally jump on the first bus that comes along. Normally you would know your destination, find which bus will take you there and get on the RIGHT bus!
Your journey through life is similiar, know where you want to go and you can determine the right bus to catch.
The next step is being aware - of people, opportunities and ideas that can move you forward to achieve you goals. Tell people about your plans, share your ideas and listen to see what new opportunites present themselves to help you move forward. Remember if this step is not working for you it is s SIGNAL to you to do something else. Sometimes a small chang ein behaviour or activity is the key to makeing things happen around you.
The next and crucial step is to be flexible - you need to keep in mind that you might have to change direction several times before you get what you want. Think about that bus journey I mentioned earlier. Imagine you want to travel from Aberdeen to London. It might take three or four changes in your journey before you get to your final destination but if you are flexible and can achieve what you wanted. In fact this zig zag journey may be more enriching than taking the straight route from A to B. In real life the things we value most are those we have striven to attain, achieved in the face of adversity and gained through our own efforts.

Engaging Staff

It can be difficult to keep staff informed of the key drivers within your organisation and good communication is basis of making sure people understand their contribution to a shared goal. Here are some tips to help you improve the way you communicate with your people:
1. Communication needs to be a two way process so make sure you have a method that allows people to comment, ask questions and make suggestions on a regular basis
2. Measure how successful you are at communicating - you probably measure other aspects of your business and communication is vital to success so measuring how well you are doing is important so that you can improve
3. Use lots of different ways to communicate - verbal, team briefs, newletters, electronic messages, internal blogs, social networks (where appropriate) notice boards, posters and so on ...
4. Give leaders and managers a platform for communication - I've always found that a team briefing process works well, it shows a commitment to inform people, gives managers an opportunity to use a structured process to communicate and there is a regularity to team briefing that establishes an expectation among staff that they will be informed about the organisational goals
5. Encourage everyone to be part of the communication process - rotate the chair in meetings, get people involved by asking someone to keep time or take notes, try to sandwich good and bad news and always try to end on a positive, even if that is only to thank people for participating.
Good Luck!

Review your Company's Communications

We all know that attending meetings can take up a lot of our time and that often we don't seem to have enough time during the day to prepare properly for all of these meetings. If you are increasingly finding that you are taking paperwork home to read or comment on because day time activites are overloaded then it is probably time to review your internal communications. Most organisations have a pattern to them that we often ignore or just don't recognise. This pattern detemines many of the meetings that need to take place. Think about it; near the year end, budgets need to be prepared and analysed. Planning strategic objectives is normally an annual event and is closely linked to budget setting. Other activities such as performance reviews tend to pop up on a regular six month cycle and project and team meetings will be more frequent.
So now we begin to see a pattern of communication emerge. Look further and consider e-mail, telephone and other regular contact such as visual displays (notice boards, white boards etc) and a multi layer approach to communication starts to emerge. Mapping out these communications and prioritising those you need to participate in will help control your time and your diary. Once you have mapped out and prioritised your overall communications you can then begin to rationalise and focus your approach.
Make sure you think about why the meeting/communication is needed, how frequent this needs to be, the style (formal/informal)of communication and the audience - who should be involved. Once you have mapped this out your diary will only be filled with the things you really need to do and you can take back some time to yourself!

The Elephant in the Room

Or, beating about the bush as my mother would have said. It is often difficult to address an issue directly because we fear the reaction that others may have to the subject being raised. This fear can lead us to ignore problems or live in hope that these problems will go away. A 'do nothing' strategy can of course, be useful if there is a chance that the problem will resolve itself, however, for other issues we really do need to confront and contain. This does not need to cause distress to yourself or to other people. In fact if worked through well, confronting problems can make the team and team working more productive. Stating your case and giving other people the opportunity to state theirs is a good stating point. From here a discussion can begin around why an issue is a 'problem' for some and how it might be resolved. In real life we often forget to ask others how we impact on them or take time to observe the affect we have on others. We are all busy with complex lives and so don't see that how we work or what we say can have a negative affect on those around us. Being self aware is an important attribute and we should all try to develop this while working to support colleagues to do the same. Getting into the habit at team meetings of asking if there are any 'Elephants in the Room' that need to be addressed can be one way of tackling niggling issues. Remember if you do adopt this approach don't let it become an opportunity for people to cause distress but make it a positive opportunity for discussion and progress. Remeber to keep personal issues for private discussion and don't use team meetings to expose individuals to the criticism of others.

What Motivates You?

Motivation is concerned with why people behave the way they do. In the workplace motivation is normally focused on performance and controlling or directing people to work more effectively. Why people do what they do is a question that dates back centuries and has challenged managers everywhere to find ways to help people engage in their work to produce better results. There are a number of key thinkers that have produced theories of motivation: Maslow created the hierarchy of need, Macgregor gave us X Y theory and more recently there have been a whole range on personality 'tests' like Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) developed to help in the understanding of what makes people do what they do.
All of these theories and tools have a place in detemining what makes people tick and how this key determinant will affect how they act and interact with others, perform a particular role or conduct a task. Making use of such tools is one way in which managers can seek the best ways to motivate their teams - knowing what makes each person energised to pursue a goal or objective should make it easier to find incentives to move that individual forward and keep moving them towards new goals.
The difficultly many people encounter is that the systems used by organisations to set goals and objectives does not allow for highly individualised goals or objectives. When goals become too broad or too narrow they either become too general to have meaning or are so focused that only a few people will engage with them. To motivate people we need to find solutions that are flexible while supporting the broader organisational goals. A combination of very personalised goals with broader over-arching objectives for the team will help. So too will each manager's ability to listen to each individual in his/her team and help create challenges that the person really will want to achieve. It takes time to Understand and to Value each person's motivations but to do so will bring about excellent team communication, more collegiate working and a better appreciation that we are all different in our needs and wants.

The Critical Friend

Throughout our lives we build and rebuild our own map of reality. This map is made up of stories, experiences and incidents that have made us who we are. Our map is a place of familiarity and in many ways it keeps us safe from the rest of the world. The problem with our maps is that they tend not to have a control or regulatory button to check whether what the map says is true or not. We may develop our map in isolation and if we are not open to some kind of 'reality check' our map could potentially lead us down the wrong route. This process of reality checking is where it can be useful to have Critical Friend; someone your trust and someone who is experienced in giving feedback that is both positive but challenging. A Critical Friend may be your partner, a work colleague, a coach, or even your boss! Whoever you choose to use as your Critical Friend there are a few things you need to consider.
First make sure the person your want to use in this capacity is emotionally strong (or emotionally intelligent) - you do not want someone who cannot address complex and challenging issues without falling apart!
Next, consider why you want this particular person to act as your Critical Friend, what is it you admire about them, what will they bring to you that someone else cannot?
Think about what you want from this relationship and how it will work. Consider your Critical Friend and what their needs might be.
Finally think about how long this relationship will last. A true Critical Friend could be someone that you keep in touch with for many years so choose carefully.
Next blog will be on motivation!